I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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