the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
