I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize