it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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