then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We are two peas in an std pod
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
