I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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