i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
