im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
