i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
