your thong is hanging out like whoa
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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