WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
