Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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