i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I color on your dick again?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
