What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
