So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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