I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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