My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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