How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
