me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
