That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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