So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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