I think i sorta joined a cult last night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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