Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
