Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
