found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
