yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
