I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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