you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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