plz talk dirty to me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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