i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
