I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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