Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
