Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize