Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
