I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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