Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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