and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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