dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
