I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
