Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize