I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
