Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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