I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
