I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
