tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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