What a fucking waste of an outfit
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
