But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
