I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
