Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need a beard to bite.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize