i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
