I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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