Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize