You can't special order awesome
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize