Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
