Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
only if we run a train.
done.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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