It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
