I'm gonna have a badass scar
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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