You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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