My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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