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• (906): View more from Michigan

  So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

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• (310): View more from California

  Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Who says it wasn't?

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• (310): View more from California

  First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang

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