Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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