Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
