some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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