Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
